My Sinfonia

AfterThoughts

2009-10-16T09:06:00.002+05:30

And Barack Obama gets a nobel .. for what
neyws some lines which i wrote in the System Prog class..

God's very own child ,
left in lurch
while he was romanticizing with destiny,
what he was robbed of was fate ,
and that was the final nail ..when God said "yes"
when even a nod would have done it ..

He was not berated nor savaged ..
but the road ends over here ,
Probably this all is a part of redemption,
getting rid of life was his salvation,
He was never an atheist ,
but even the cogitated mind couldnt answer "why"

and the thoughts were enough for a shudder,
sweats mixed with tears are not that salty though
His life now stands vitiated.
he wasnt debased ,
and the whole of tumult ended..
sshh.. someone's sleeping..

Signing Off !! happy reading guys

A "low" Five for these fives..

2009-04-20T05:38:00.009+05:30

its 5.30 in the morning and am yet to sleep largely because i woke up at 5 ..(dont get me wrong ,'twas of the evening ) ....
As for a day after sessional ..and yeah!! it was pretty boring...(well unless you are one of those cribbling committed souls ,sunday afternoon is kinda boring and induces sleep...good for Insominacs like me :) ) ..
I am here scribbling rather typing because i dont wanna study for my Dbms lab viva today ..
and yeah ! am going to write about something which i always thought ,i should but never did..
I promise this one is going to be crazy atleast it would have some people likening me to push their fingers up my nose (whoa !!nice imagery )
Five Things i dont like about manipal..
1. Pabla ...(p.s. our diro is now not wid us ...still )
2. Couples saving some bucks ...and using the library for quite a "meaningful purpose".
3. GPL at my birthday ...( God !! i had a back which when displayed would have been for commercial purposes for the Indian National Congress)
well btw Shania Twain is also gud with a light hearted song "that dont impress me much "
i feel like humming but for my rummie whuz slpn like evry1 else ..so i vl save it for an empty room..
4. Excessive drinking ( God this has got me enraged me so many times ...why the hell do you drink when you cant handle it and have to depend on someone else to dump you to your room and what if you he dumps you on a dustbin or sideways and you remain there ..wtf )
(P.S. I have seen people going out with their gfs n then gettin high (read :talli ) and their (respective :) )gf's escorting them ....)
well umm... i had a pretty tough time when i had a friend at upper berth while on the return journey to home...
and with him and his 250 ml of vodka spilling beans enough to show his unarbitrated state.
5. The Fakeness in everything - Well this is not exactly specific to manipal but i found it over here just as i happned to live here..
where the world is so sweet ,talks so good ,people so awsome (p.s. all these when you are there with them )
Scene 2 : ...Action..( you are nowhere in the picture ) and it starts with a !@##$ salutation to you and your friends cribbing about what they had would have loved to do to you given a chance...
well sometimes the scene 2 is replaced with the poison laced sweetness ...so the sooner one realises ,the better ...
this is kinda good ..it prepares you for the world you had been impatienly waiting to conquer
...thy world...
but there has been an impediment ...now even am a "faker"(i dont know whether this is a valid word as per the english dictionaries or not but i vl take it as part of a blogger's freedom ) and the worse part am enjoying it too....got to be shortlived ( good for me i guess ).
signing off......Happy Reading!!!!!!

A gaze at the lost Star

2009-04-20T03:46:00.007+05:30

The nights are turning to dawn ...
Sun still very much on the other side
the cold is shivering ..
the feet are too lazy to move
and my head pretty numb

and am still wondering ....
wait a minute ...
am bereft of any thoughts ..
am devoid of any senses
as if am conjured by some occults

And still i envision you
was it you ...oh my dear !!!
was it you for real ?
or was it one out of my insomnia
i do not know how ...

People say angels die early
because he needs them for this world
but still some angels are left out
because a lesser mortal needs him more than the God
because he loves her more than anybody else ever would

But no longer ..he was bereft of her .
She failed to see beyond my eyes,
she failed to read beyond what my lips uttered ,
she failed to see my trail of tears,
She failed to hear what my words said ,

Henceforth I lie in this cot for days.
And now my life is no longer split into days and minute,
its into moments with her and without her
I lie here devoid of my life .
I breathe but donot live , I speak but without voice.

if life is this worse then death would have been better ,
but i wont die...i donot wish to remain in oblivion
but am not going away..devoid of you

I am not dying ...am alive ...
although am choking ...still i am not dying
am breathing ...am alive ...
am not dying ...am alive ...am waiting...

Hope you had the time of your life !!!!

2009-03-10T23:26:00.003+05:30

"Another turning point;

a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;

directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test

and don't ask why.

It's not a question

but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable

but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life."

I am in awe of these lines from the time

when i first heard the song "time of your life " by greenday .

Well !! you can gauge my likeness for this particular song

from the very fact that this song is my ringtone too..

(wasnt that a bit personal :) ).

I don’t know why should i write a review or analysis kind of thing for this song .

but still am doing it ...and i am lest left ignorant and the legendary “i don’t know “.

The best of all "fork stuck in the road " which so silently signifies

the problems or maybe unwanted, uninvited situations in your life

from which you had always wanted to run away and hide your face in obscurity

but then it doesnt always travel the way you had liked it to be ..

and then it forces you into circumstances where you have two choices to make

either you try your way out

Or you accpet the situation and then do watever u could do in the best possible way ..

"so make the best of this day "

and even after all the pains endured ..

the sacrifices made ...tears shed ..

but shouldnot ask why ?

because it was never a question but

a lesson you had to learn whether you ever yearned for it or not (it doesnot matter )

Afterall it does boil to something called "destiny "

as someone rightly put it as

"Destiny is a matter of lotsa chance "

but at the end .......it gotta be alright ...

just hoping that this was the "time of your life "......

a time which has changed the seconds ,

redefined questions with no answers ,

reignited the urge to live and to live beautifully ,

changed your frivolous attitude :

So that your dreams are never lonely again ....

So that you are no longer choked by thoughts

So that you no longer spend your nights staring at those lonely walls ..

so that you never have your life split into time

but time into life and that time shall be the "time of your life "....

2009-03-08T13:30:00.000+05:30

The Unrequited Silence.....

2009-03-06T15:37:00.001+05:30

A lull before d storm

or was the silence for real..

such is the savagery of life

you never know the destination of wind...

you never know the depth of ocean

until you are drowned to death......

you never reach the height of sky

until you fall from there ...

you never see death

until you hear a newborn's cry..

u never heard me when i cried ....

u never saw d tears in my eyes

until they moistened ur lips...

and caged ur smile .....

why you had to squirm even when you wer free

and why did i kiss you even wen you looked away ...

why did i fail to read what remained on your lips ..

why do i think ....wen i think only of you....

why my Gods changed...n demons revisited

and my belief changed since then

why do i die even when i am dead ...

why do i still love u ......even wen u r dead...

n still the silence persists.......

none to answer , none to ask....

still the deafening silence.....

present was me !!

2008-10-10T20:22:00.000+05:30

A day.....i was walking past a road...

Dere it was .....a never ending one ....no destination ,no source ....

all the way ......it was just the way....n more of it.....

The horizon kissing the end ....

the end which was never one ....just a narrow fragment of hope belied

And then there were those footprints .....

perfect dried moulds of those..... on those hard metallic surface ...

n den was a trauma ....a JOLT which dried all the liquid in my veins ....

what i thought to be was not to be ...

and wat i did not thought of ....was lying all bare.... infront of me ....

Someone else.. too was here......walking all aside me ...

and i never knew ....

there was his blood soaked footprints ....shining red ...all fresh and soaking

the blood spoke of more blood ....a drip more it said

and the earth oozed more ....the EARTH bled it seemed....all red over brown...

and then there was the one who broke my solitary journey....

it was all black...all of a figure ....of a man but no features ....and that was it..

the legs bleeding ...red and black ...a quivering sight...n dreadful for heart...

it spoke ...rather trembled n then mumbled......

which is way beyond comprehendible for any of human genre ...

then i heard his voice ....nothin earthly n even lesser heavenly..

it was all meek....n very soft ....barely reachin my ears...

but it was all clear.

he spoke about past n future.....

but ....never about the present because as he said "the present was me "

As he spoke of yore ....i could hear him giggling...happy soul i said.

he spoke hw he had spend hours watchin rain drops soothin the earth's dust..

he told me wat sky's blueness meant to him ,

what he thought about deep oceans n about those little red flowers of his garden;

how ecstatic he was..................!!!!!!!!!!!

how he loved to quarrel for that seat at see-saw in the park ...

how he enjoyed the evening walk holding his father's hand

how he hated being left alone n that annoyed him n ......annoys me ....

how he craved for that chocolate cake at that corner bakery...

how he savoured those dreams flying into the fairy land.

he stiffened when he started talking about the future

because as he said he feared future.....

future was all dark ,all ashes and no smoke.

he cried because he knew he cared for his dear ones .

because he knew of immortal wounds and mortal pains.

now his voice further mellowed ....n slowly it vanished .

he was now standin dumb infront of me

as if he was waitin the imminent ....

i was dazed and confused over what was happening......

it was queer....infact very strange ...till then ......but not now.

i was dead.

n he was still standing by my body ....

tears flowing into the blood .....everything was clear now...

he was talking all about me ...all the time ...all the way...rather end of a way.

it was never his blood ....it was mine....always.

his cries mixed with tears n my blood echoed the world.....

he shouted "i was your shadow n i killed you"

he shot me dead...and he couldnot even repent

as how could one repent his own killing...

and he never told about present because "PRESENT WAS ME"........

embodiment of death!!!

2008-09-19T08:37:00.000+05:30

death is so beautiful, so serene..
pure calmness and nothing else ..

if life is white then death is dark,
black ..........bold and beautiful.

i wonder how will white be ,if there wer no black
what would life be if there was no death..

it brings meaning to life,
it is the dead end to start it all over again ..

it ends all the pain endured , soothes all the wounds .
release the soul from the chains of world.

it demands no question ......,no answers.....
just a silence which Deafens..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

had a wish a day............

2008-09-10T23:44:00.000+05:30

I had a wish a day,
n it stayed with me all the time.
i wished if i could ever wish for more
for anything which is less sore,
anything lesser than those of yore.

i wished if i could die for a day ,
so dat i could feel how end is;
is it painful all the time or a moment and over.
rather i could find what difference does it make
when the world is a person less my ppl know of.